Momma,

I laid in bed last night not able to sleep because I was thinking of you. Has it really been 14 years since we lost you? Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday and other times it's hard for me to believe that I ever even knew you. The few memories that I have of you almost seem like a distant, wonderful dream. I can still remember that day so clearly. The day you left this world. I remember being in my second grade class. The office secretary came over the intercom and told my teacher to send me to the office. She told me to bring all of my things because I wouldn't be coming back to class. I have to admit that at first I was a little excited, getting checked out of school was usually a lot of fun for me. It didn't even cross my mind that I was getting checked out because I had lost you. Because I had lost my best friend. I will never forget seeing dad and Matt through the glass windows to the elementary school office. Matt had his hood on and his head was hanging in his hands. Dad was trying so hard to look like everything was ok. But I knew. Even as a 7 year old I could tell something was wrong. And I knew just what it was.

I constantly wish you were here. I try and imagine what my life would be like with you in it. What would it be like to have a mom to call up anytime I want? I know that if you were here we would talk every day and you would know everything about my life. I know that we would be close not just as mother and daughter, but as friends. Now that I am a wife I try and think like you would, because I want to be just like you. I hope that one day I can be the wife to my husband that you were to dad and the mom to my children that you were to me. You were the absolute best. I sometimes wonder if you would be proud of the person that I am today. I hope so. It hurts me to think that I have already spent more of my earthly life without you than I have with you. I hate that my husband doesn't even know you and that my babies will never meet their grandmother. But for now, I will have to live with that. I am so grateful for the plan of salvation that allows me to be with you again. I can't wait to be reunited with you, ma. What a wonderful day that will be! Until then I will be thinking of you always and missing you every day. 

Love you for ever,

Ang